Most of the time, I always think about 'us' getting back together. So, yeah. Kudos for me. Hahaha! But that doesn't mean that he's completely mine again. It's been 8 months to be exact since our break up. And now here's the sitch, the day when he told me that "he still loves me".. I may be a bit tipsy when I heard that but I can perfectly remember almost everything? I guess. And yes! Finally, I almost..okay 'almost' got the closure I want from him.. Congratulations to me. Now, where was I? Oh yeah. We haven't really cleared up things between us coz I need to sober up and there are too many people surrounding us. I still feel awkward whenever I'm with him.. I don't know why..but maybe he feels the same way too. Dontcha think? Fudge. The day we got home, I texted him. I told him that I need to know his side and yes, he was open that time and very honest. Woooh. Our conversation was a bit dramatic to me. He was saying sorry for pushing me away, for hurting me, and for letting me go easily. I have to admit, I was really hurt when he did that. But he was forgiven long before he said sorry.
"We always talk things like this via technology." a part of his text. Yes, he's right. We couldn't even see our emotions whether if we're really sincere or if we're just confused 'bout our feelings and it'll be like a deadpan convo if we're going to continue like this. I'm not ready to face him. It's just too complicated.
To be honest, I felt like I want him again..I want to be his girl but there's a part of me telling that I should enjoy the relationship we have right now. We're friends. We're happy. No commitment, no expectations. It'll be a start for us. We stay cool like this. Yeah, cool like a potato. Lol whuuut. I'm glad I met a guy like him. He was sweet and such a gentleman to girls. I don't feel jealous if he does that to girls, he's loyal. I loved him..and I still do. And that'll never change.
I want you to learn that I never stopped loving you. You'll always be one of the best man I've known. You're flexible. You can be a caring & loving boyfriend, bestfriend, brother or even a father to me! Hahaha. You're cool, man! I'm sorry for everything. I wasn't able to know well the good role of a girlfriend. I wasn't aware what character I was portraying. I was lost. Maybe that's one of the reason why you felt 'cold' all of a sudden and started to 'fall out'. Life can sometimes be a pain in the arse. We must accept everything. Good or bad. It's reality. We face it or we'll be smashed potatoes..not so cool.
